MyCenterofWealth

Dear Me,

What do you do when the formula breaks and nothing adds up anymore? When the rules you trusted suddenly feel shaky, even false?

When you have spent years climbing, giving your best, stretching yourself, only to look up and realize the ladder was resting against the wrong wall?

What do you do when expectations disappear overnight, like they were never real to begin with? When the picture you held so tightly fades, and you are left standing in the quiet aftermath?

Hmmmm… what happened? You asked?

I am glad you asked. Even me… na so I asked myself? That’s a 10 billion dollar’s question.

For most of my life, I did everything right. Talk about right and wrong, I know them like the back of my hands. I followed the rules like Google Map. I stayed faithful. I crossed the Ts and dot the Is. I showed up – consistently, quietly, without complaint.

My world revolved around God, school, work, and home, and for decades, that order worked. It rewarded my discipline with progress, and my faith with visible results. By every standard I knew, I was a good girl.

I loved God deeply, loved people sincerely, and worked hard without needing recognition. Those around me call me reliable, trustworthy, intelligent, and kind. I believed them, not out of pride, but with certainty, my life reflected those truths.

The first three decades of my life were marked by steady growth. I excelled in school, built a respectable career, and lived comfortably. So, I thought I have “the growth formula” at the palm of my hand, at my beck and call to use my disposal at will.

Serving in church came naturally, almost instinctively with all the blessings I am surrounded with. I loved God, why not? I gave my best – freely and faithfully, with all my heart and strength.

Then days rolled into months; and months hand their batons to years. I expected the same upward momentum – only greater.

Instead, the familiar formula failed me, the rule suddenly became flaky. The practices that once opened doors now led to silence. What had always worked…stopped working.

I asked again. What do you do when life feels like a basket that can’t hold anything and everything you gather keeps slipping through a hole in your pocket?

What do you do when the house you’ve spent years building suddenly crumbles into dust before your eyes? Where do you start from?

Well, I did what I knew how to do well… I did.

Did I see a smirky smile on your face? Eh… I am coming, it is almost dinner, let me go and get a bite and we shall continue this soon. This is me, checking in.

Aarinola